Marion Said:

Is this considered child abuse in the state of Maine?

We Answered:

The short answer is no--technically there's no physical abuse if no mark was left on the child and no instrument, such as a belt, was used. The longer answer is that you should be able to get Maine CPS to go out and check on the child. Call and tell there that there were prior abuse reports on this child in such-and-such state. Then tell them that you're concerned for the child because you know that the child is still being struck by this person and the child has emotional issues due to his/her abuse issues. If you are factual, calm, credible, and are able to describe events that you have seen yourself, there is a very high likelihood that Maine CPS will send someone to investigate. In the event that the investigation is closed as unsubstantiated and the child continues in a bad situation, please call CPS again. I'm aware of several situations where it takes multiple phone calls to get CPS to act. Good luck.

Manuel Said:

Is this from the cycle of emotional abuse or mental health condition or both?

We Answered:

Men that are doted on by their mothers unfortunately act like little boys if they do not get their own way. When living with someone like this it would be extremely difficult to please that person all of the time and what you do is walk on eggshells until that person is happy.

The relationship is one way as at all costs the man needs to be pampered until he feels able to accept and give affection.

Is it any wonder that the woman's mood is affected by this merry go round of emotions?

I would say if you are talking about yourself, that you deserve a medal for trying to hold it all together.

Often we use our parents as role models for our behaviour, but if our parents aren't the best examples then we should try to adapt our own way of living to make things better, if we cannot do this, as is the case with this man, then he will continue to expect to be able to copy his dad and freeze out his loving caring wife until he feels ready to 'get over it'.

Women are often seen as peace makers and this is the pattern you have described.

Very selfish men often choose selfless partners as they themselves would be extremely hard pushed to live with anyone remotely like themselves.

Enormous strength of character is needed to live with someone like this and on a good day it is easier to cope, but if you are not on your A game, then it is somewhat more difficult to continually emotionally support someone, when what you need yourself is just a tiny bit of tender loving care.