Gladys Said:

How do I establish a routine for an 11 month old baby?

We Answered:

My daughter is 17 months, and I am not at all a schedule person so I have some recent experience with this! Getting on a schedule was actually a great thing, but I was very much aware to be watching my baby, not the clock. Here's what worked for us:
- Offer the baby meals/ snacks at the same time each day and she will start to expect it. At 11 mos she can probably have different soft finger foods. My daughter is picky, but likes all kinds of fruit and cheese. And if she hungry because she didn't like what we fed her, she will absolutely not sleep. Find foods she likes and keep offering new things.
- See if the baby seems to nap around a certain time. Our time was 10:30, so I know to put her down for a nap around that time. If I tried earlier, it would take forever and be a big struggle. Experiment with other ways to get her to sleep than feeding - maybe singing, rocking or walking in the stroller, pacifier, reading a book, etc. It will probably take around a week to establish something new.
- I found that creating a bedtime/ nap time ritual was incredibly helpful and the only way to start weaning. I can now do our ritual (music, draw the shades, bath before bedtime and then books, just book for nap time) and simply put her in the crib. In a few minutes she is asleep. Sometimes there is up to 5 minutes of light crying, but not loud screaming crying like we used to have.
- See what the baby likes - mine listens to music and white noise as she goes to sleep, and when she hears that music, she knows it is time for sleep. It used to take me up to 2 hours to put her to sleep because there was lots of crying and we don't let her cry alone. There is a theory around this - check out info on attachment parenting. The stern parenting of years past is not the only way to go and may do more long-term harm than good. Be aware of your own biases about parenting - sounds like you don't respect the parents' parenting style at all. There are countless different theories/ styles out there so don't be so quick to call their way wrong if they are doing things consciously.

If the baby is starting to have tantrums or other undesirable behavior (mine was a food thrower) IGNORE her when she does this. If you start saying NO at this age, she will become a toddler who says "NO NO NO!" all the time. And it will likely encourage the undesirable behavior as she is getting lots of attention. Biting is another story. She must be taught that aggressive biting is not OK.

Good luck!

Wade Said:

3 month old will not go to sleep till late?

We Answered:

Your baby will change his sleep schedual many times before it gets into a routine, some babies just take longer than others. My daughter was sleeping some nights from 10 pm right til 10 am and sometimes it was tought to get her to bed and she was up til 3 am crying. Also if your baby is teething that may be the reason why he can't sleep he's probably fussy. Sometimes you just have to let your baby go to sleep when he's ready if anything maybe you should try playing some soft music rock him and he'll probably fall asleep in your arms. You could also try massaging him gently on the legs and body to get him relaxed that worked for my daughter.

Lewis Said:

Fear of going crazy or having schizophrenia! HELP!!?

We Answered:

All that you stated are symptoms of anxiety. You might want to get on an anti-anxiety medicine, cause severe anxiety will bring your life down in a heart beat. I know from my own experience. I was on effexor and then got thrown off of it when I got pregnant, everyday I KNEW I was dying, I didn't think. That is how bad it was. To make you feel better, I once visited a doctor and I told him I thought I was going crazy, he said, if you think your crazy then your not crazy, cause if you were crazy then you wouldn't know you are crazy. Please from one anxiety sufferer to another, you are not going crazy! I promise you! Just remember that. You might can fight this by yourself with the help of a therapist, however it is okay if you have to get on medicine. Effexor has helped me alot, but I warn you DO NOT (and i know this is scary to hear right now but you need to know anyway) get on effexor unless you plan on being on it for life, because once you try to ween yourself off of it you have THE most God awful withdrawls, and you will be worse than before. Just remember your not crazy and you are not alone.

Frances Said:

How do I establish a routine for an 11 month old baby?

We Answered:

Hi

I am a mother of a 2 and 4 year old. I breastfed my youngest till he was 10 months but this was only first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

Firstly the mother needs to stop breastfeeding on demand, she needs to gradually wean the child by cutting down to maybe 1 feed in the day but still breastfeed her morning and night then after a day or so cutting out the feed in the day then after a couple of days cutting out the feed in the morning then another couple of days cutting the feed at night. There is no need for a child that age to be eating puréed foods, at that age my son was eating everything that I ate.

The child should be in her own cot otherwise she will constantly demand the breast. You (or the mother) should bath the child at night and settle her in her own cot, as she is used to the mother being there it will need to be a gradual withdrawal, I watched this on supernanny, the mother puts the child in the cot then sits on the floor with her back to the child, when the child stands up the mother should just keep putting the child back down without giving her any attention at all, it might take an hour the first night but the mother must be committed otherwise she will end up in a situation where the child will be 5 and still in bed with her. I put my children to bed at 6pm and they sleep through till 5:30 - 6am. The mother needs to wake the child up at 6am otherwise it will mess up the night routine. Nap times should be taken before 1pm otherwise the child will not be sleepy at night.

As for feeding, she needs to be put in a highchair to be fed, if she screams and lashes about then you can take her out but tell her that if she wants some dinner she will have to sit in the highchair, I always sit the table with my kids when we eat dinner.

As for her behaviour, half of this could be down to lack of sleep, and lack of routine, a child needs routine so they know what is going to happen next. On supernanny Jo frost puts up a routine on the wall, maybe this is something you could discuss with the mother, that way both of you will know what you should be doing at a particular time.

Her breastfeeding in the day needs to be substituted with either juice or water from a sippy cup, not a bottle. As long as her diet is varied she does not need to be breastfed all the time.

You need to sit down with the mother and let her know that what she is doing is making your job harder. The mother needs to set boundaries otherwise the child won't know what is right and what is wrong, when the child has a tantrum she can be placed away from the situation (I use a naughty step with my youngest), the mother must not give her any attention when she has a tantrum as some kids feed from that, the child must understand that she won't get any attention when she misbehaves however the mother must also praise the child when she is good.

Have you tried the supernanny website:

http://www.supernanny.co.uk/

Hope this helps, let me know if you need anymore advice.

Vicki Said:

Need your opinion! please answer (10 pts.)?

We Answered:

Hi! I very much like your essay. I sincerely am sorry for your loss, and this essay is certainly from what I can tell going to be a wonderful tribute to your memories.

This is a very well written and well structured essay. Only one small edit pops out at me- the "luminous" used to describe your childhood seems a bit overdone, perhaps just magnificent.

Your first paragraph does a great job of showing, not telling. However, your paragraph about your childhood seems to tell (however aptly) and not show. Its very good, but maybe add some examples?

Overall this is a very effecting and engaging read, and I'm sure it will be approved and loved by all who read it. Great job, and I admire that you are writing about something so very close to you.

Please feel free to ignore any of my critiques, I am a lowly editor, and you, the mastermind of the essay =).

Good luck!