Pamela Said:

Can anyone help with this deep intense phobia and night mares ?

We Answered:

where there is a will, there is a way.
if you want to emigrate so bad, you will, just dont give up faith that you will pull through.

Maureen Said:

how do you not feel jealous of happy people who've never been through the life youve endured?

We Answered:

I think the biggest thing to realize is that EVERYONE has their battles regardless of severity. One person could be molested while the other persons father wont pay attention to them. Are they equal in severity? Hell no but non the less they take an emotional toll on the person. They each have something to battle that can equally derail their life if they spend all their energy focusing on it.

I've had my battles. For a long time I allowed other people to make me a victim.(especially my parents) Yes, some of the stuff that happened was illegal and will leave deep scars for life. BUT, I choose to build my life for a better future. I took my life back by focusing on where I wanted to go with it. It use to make me angry and jealous that others were happy because I wanted and craved that. I just had to learn that hey, they had their battles too but decided to move on and build a life for themselves. I just had to figure out how to do the same.

The important thing is it is NEVER to late to build your life. My grandfather who I never knew did it when he was 73. Now he is a major influence in my life. You just have to allow people in instead of shoving them out of your life. If you encourage negativity you will attract those people. If you encourage positivity then you will attract those people. It takes strength and courage to do that but it is there. It always will be.

So, please take the steps turn your life towards the positive instead of hating people for being happy. It will be hard and you will have to swallow a lot of pride, anger, and jealousy but it can be done. When you hit a snag come on here with your question and maybe someone will be able to direct you in a positive way.

Irene Said:

I have this fear / phobia that if i try to pursue my ambition of leaving that will happen , can anyone help ?

We Answered:

My heart goes out to you, and I can tell that despite the hurt and pain you still have hope. That IS half the battle. Yes you have had a hard life, and yes it may be more difficult to find employment, but it IS not impossible.

I don't know if you believe in God, but nothing is impossible when the Lord is with you. I do not have borderline personality, but I have had a very traumatic and abusive past. If most people knew what I've lived through, most before the age of 12, they'd be shocked.

You hang in there, and never give up. Work on bettering yourself where you are now, so that you're stronger mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, and THEN...make a move. If the desire is in your heart, and it is realistic, there is no reason you can not achieve your goals. You can do this!! Trust God, grow stronger, and expect only the best. Your past is the past, if no one believes in you, I do, and God does as well. :)

Pamela Said:

im really angry and enraged with happy people, jealous - how can i stop that?

We Answered:

I really don't know what to say to you other than...keep it up and you will end up a really bad bully and hurt people, the only ones you have around you at the worst..


I've studied Psychology and Human Behaviour, so i want you to take this true example from me, as i'm trying to help you as best i can here to show you how badly you could affect happy people:

I and my family have been stalked, terrorised, bullied, cyber stalked and threatened by people like yourself, and it's indescribable how it made us feel at the time it started to happen. Those kinds of things can ruin lives, and i should know, as i lost our child over it due to stresses, racism, hate mail and threats that my newly born child would be shot (btw i'm in a mixed race marriage, which has nothing to do with anybody but us and that was the target reason we believe).

Police did nothing to rectify it before it got out of hand. This was happening over like six years and it was hell.

So, unless you want to continue being unhappy because others are happy....you best better get some counselling with "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy", otherwise you're gonna lose out on so much in life or end up doing something real stupid in addition with your anger and end up inside. It happens, so be cautious with your own behaviour because it can lead to people being doolally and the such. Jealousy is a real bad trait to carry. I believe CBT will help you with this, otherwise you will end up with Reactive Depression and get no where.

Be thankful of what you have got, "LIFE", as some people have nothing and no friends whatsoever. I had been unhappy for 10 years of my life but i am never jealous of other people to the extent where i would get angry. What on earth for? I get on with life as best as i can, do my thing and be happy in my own way. What i do with my life, career etc has nothing to do with anybody or how happy the next person is.

My motto is: HELP YOURSELF, AND GOD WILL SURELY HELP YOU ALONG.

You need some "common faith" in you so that you can make an effort to do something with your life to be happy about. Common faith that will make you not feel so negative just because you've been through rough stuff. You CAN get through all of that, as it's not impossible Start from taking up a hobby and the move forward to the next thing. Trust me, it works. "What have you always dreamt of doing/wanting to do?" If i could study for a 2 year degree in 1 year while massively depressed in 2000 and pass it, then there is hope for people like you to succeed too, in whatever area of life, and in anything. Nothing is impossible with "effort" and that is the key to moving forward and dropping the jealous feelings inside of you.

You need to stop, listen and think about 'why' you really feel the way you do about happy people/people who do well.

I found out today that i cannot have any more kids and i'm devastated. So, are you going to tell me that i'm wrong for feeling devastated about it just because i have two other kids? I think not.

Be careful how you think and feel, as it could affect the whole of your life ahead and drag you down real heavy. You don't want that ok..

All the best