Tony Said:

Is my flatmate possibly bigoted/prejudiced and what to do?

We Answered:

You can't control another's hostile feelings. She may have just heard BPD and went off. Maybe she doesn't know much about it.

i'm a social worker and have some experience coaching relationships. You shared something with this girl that might have been better kept to yourself. She also may be reactive to others, not just you, but it's out now and whatever her motivation to treat you in a dismissive or even negative way is not something you have any power over.

It's a plus to have a close friend in the room. i would confine any sensitive subjects to her confidence alone.

Beyond that, i am a patient, nearly by profession, and i have had nurses as well as doctors share their own medical and emotional trials with me. None of us are free from baggage and one CAN (and so many do) perform their jobs well and deal effectively with their own private issues. her negative attitude is more crippling than your own BPD and that would be more limiting to her career than a young woman who is trying to make her way in school with any personality disorder.

Don't let her remarks shake your own self confidence. She could be projecting her own fears onto one she deems weaker. It has little to do with you, actually, and everything to do with her.

My advice is to find out all you can of your own condition. While i have no titles for you, find some good books. Aks you doctor or psychologist. Many, many young women share the BPD dx, and whether this is simply the condition du jour (as HDHD and other disorders seem to have been at times) or actual reality, it is a disorder and not organic mental illness. It's origins, while partly inherited, are controversial and socialization has much to do with it.

Reporting her as problem should be your last resort. If you cannot work out a livable arrangement with her, then do what you must, but dealing with her directly (or ignoring her problem completely) will better prepare you for other like issues. Intervention by a third party does not teach you to cope with such conflict and that's a good lesson to learn no matter who you are or what you have to deal with.

You will be better able to cope when you become an expert on YOU. You will learn much by reading, perhaps joining a support group with other young women who have BPD and comparing notes and strategies. In the future, i would not share this outright. It is unfair, but stigmas exist for everything from blue eyes to piercings and so the more you know, the better prepared you can be to deal with the ignorance or even backlash from others. It's not about stopping them, but about learning to cope with it yourself.

You sound like a very sensible, thinking young woman. As you move on, learn more, i have no doubt you will come to terms with your own understanding and find confidence in your own insights.

gentle thoughts...

Vera Said:

Do you think the octuplet mom is capable of understanding reality?

We Answered:

No, I believe she confabulates. The stories keep changing.

She left the Whittier house because of 'death threats'. She was interviewed in a $1.4 million dollar house which 'someone' rented for her as a refuge. Then, it was just 'rented for a day or two'. Then she was thinking of buying the house because it was for sale. The real estate agency with the listing denies this. Three days later she's back in Whittier.

She said an Orange County church was going to provide assistance. The church said she had inquired about their children's programs, nothing more.

She claims she has never had public assistance. The $490 in food stamps is "just temporary" and therefore doesn't count. Neither does her disability payments for a back injury in 1996. Neither does the disability money that three of the older kids get. One of them is two years old and has a speech disability.

Her goal is to complete a masters' degree in social work and thereby provide for her family. Hey, MSW is not the world's best-paying profession. Apparently she used educational loans for living expense and her IVF treatments. The loans will need to be paid back when she starts working.

She claims to love her kids and compassionately holds each one 20 minutes a day, which is really not enough for a child. 20 x 14 is 280 minutes, nearly 5 hrs. a day. Any mom will tell you that only 5 hours is a joke, let alone 20 minutes. That's before she eats, cooks, bathes, cleans, goes to school or work.

Willie Said:

How to tell my parents my fiance and I are pregnant again!? (story)?

We Answered:

Your fiancee and yourself are pregnant.
Thats soooo cute haha :]

Right, well, I think you should.
Being your mother I believe she deserves to know, just think.
You're having a child, what if it's a She? and what if she got pregnant and didn't tell you?

Tell your mommy.
But if she tries to bring your buddle of joy down, don't listen to her.

Felix Said:

Should alternative therapy practices be regulated...?

We Answered:

I'm torn about this question. On the one hand I feel like it's the government's job to protect some people from other's who would take advantage of them. On the other hand these people are adults who should be able to make informed decisions about their health on their own. Of course, you could say that about the medicine that is regulated. As I write this I realize that basically we should regulate alternative health treatments and practitioners. When I say 'we' I mean America.

Yes, doctors make mistakes. Everyone does. Do you visit an "alternative mechanic" who treats your car's dented bumper with a mixture of 1 part gas to 100,000,000 parts water after your "traditional mechanic" makes a mistake? No, you decide if the mistake was caused by negligence or not and then either forgive them or get a new mechanic. Apply the same to doctors. Untrained and unscrupulous alternative therapists are going to make far more mistakes and far worse mistakes because of their lack of training and scruples. Bring all of it under regulation; acupuncture, chiropractric, homeopathy, reflexology, herbology, all of it. Test it all, keep what works and regulate it and throw out the rest.

Stella Said:

Does anyone else have a child with cerebral palsy?

We Answered:

I did watch the video of a little girl (not sure if it was the same girl though) & I think it was her left side of her body that she couldn't really function with properly & then after the therapy she was able to climb up a ladder & catch/hold a ball, walk etc. It was truly remarkable & gives me allot of hope. !

These finding were from a clinical trial, (Im not sure of an exact website, but you can look up government clinical trials in your area & see if your daughter might fit the criteria)
All clinical trial has certain criteria a candidate must fit into to make it a more controlled project. In said trial, it was a requirement that the child use her OWN blood cord cells, but that doesn't necessarily mean another persons blood cord wouldn't work as someone else mentioned.


1. I read a story very recently about a little girl with sickle cell anemia & used her brothers stem cells to cure it. Granted it was a family member in this scenerio BUT there are blood backs everywhere that store donated blood cords & have been know to help people with similar diseases & lukemia & such.

Also, I think the comapnies name is BioEdan, but they are finding the same cells in blood cords in the marrow of childrens wisdom teeth. Its like a second chance if you didnt store your child blood cord ( I didnt unfortuneatly so I was SO happy to read about this discovery!)
Anyway its not as popular (YET!) so there arent as many storage banls for these teeth/cells, but like I said I think one companie's name that does is BioEdan.


sorry so long, dont give up, Im a believer that your daughter will be cured =)

Andre Said:

Do you think the octuplet mom should listen?

We Answered:

I think the doctor that agreed to perform the fertility treatment on an unemployed, unwed mother of six should be taken to court and made to pay the full expenses of all eight until they graduate college.

It should not be an expense to the taxpayers in the form of welfare and food stamps, and it should not be an expense to medical insurance companies who will pay for it with higher premiums for you and me, and it should no be an expense to charities, who could better put the money to help people with real problems who weren't responsible for getting into such a mess.