Bernard Said:

I am a health care student seeking answer from recovered Meth addict. 1. When did you begin using Meth?

We Answered:

I used on a daily basis and hated doing it... the detox was worse than getting high in many aspects... at my skinniest, and worst, I thought I was fat and totally in control of what I was doing. Spirituality had nothing to do with it. I have been clean for about 6 years now, I've quit counting... that's a good sign. I gained mass weight because I was addicted to food after meth and now I'm losing weight again, but by diet and excersice... and my long term goal is to ride a bicycle across the usa round trip. I know that's a pretty lofty goal, but I'll get their. The biggest draw back for me was making friends that actually fit into societies norms, and not committing crimes just so I can get more to use and be with those that used so I could get more. I lost a well paying career with the post office and barely have a part-time job.

Darryl Said:

have i left it to late to achieve my goals & ambitions?

We Answered:

I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time of it, it doesn't sound easy. The best advice I can give you is to tell the people at the drop in centre that you would like to achieve something, do anything meaningful in your life, and ask their help in doing this. Maybe make a list of things you would like to do, then come up with action plans of how you might start achieving some of those things.
To answer your original question - no, I don't think it's ever too late. When I was at university, there were several women in my class in their 40s and 50s, and one woman who was in her late 70s. It wasn't too late for them and its not too late for you.
Stay strong and good luck. x

Everett Said:

how do i not feel bitterly jealous and angry towards other people easy, happy lives ?

We Answered:

I feel the same spec since my mom just died sunday :(( She started to die more then 2 weeks before but held on to allow me not only to say good bye but to set myself up with social workers etc who can help me.

When i first found out she was gonna die soon i wanted to die as well but i promised her at nurses' urging that i would be ok now i must keep that oath. Thru out my career and her illness and dad's yrs ago met alot of real shitheads in the roles of dr nurse soc worker etc. But the people who cared for mom and me recently have restored my faith in humanity a bit

I once was happy and will be again as u will be

Eleanor Said:

i worry that the help im recieving is not the right help, what do i do?

We Answered:

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. It sounds like you have been given some well thought out advice and perhaps you're going to have to give it some time to see any real benefit. I think the important thing for you to do is keep in regular contact with the professionals. If, in another couple of months, you don't feel you're making any progress you need to request that they try some different therapies for you. You said you have problems regarding your ankle - that's a shame because I'm sure you'd find some exercise invaluable. Have you read up on your conditions? The internet is a useful source but don't get too bogged down in it - use it as a reference point only. If you can identify why you feel like you do it would be a good starting point to try and alter the way you react to circumstances.

I also live in the North of England and am aware that there isn't a lot of help available - especially when you're feeling so lost in yourself anyway.

Don't give up on yourself. It's so important that you stay strong and true to yourself. I can appreciate your aims and ambitions in life but for now I think you should be setting yourself smaller, more readily achievable goals. This would help to improve your self esteem and the rest can follow from there. Don't be impatient - you've lived with this for most of your life - you're not going to get better overnight.

You are amazingly strong to be facing your problems like this - good for you - you will get better, you've got the inner strength.

Take care.

Jamie Said:

i need advice and help on what to do - am i getting the right help ?

We Answered:

I think I can help you. I believe I know what you are talking about, having had lots of personal experience with it.

My Dad had BPD, PTSD and agoraphobia and passed a lot of those traits on to us (his kids). I fully forgive him for it. At heart he was an incredible guy. My Mum became a psychologist, mostly trying to find ways to deal with the mental issues of myself and my family. The stream I went to find solutions for my family was the natural health and nutrition stream.

One of my brothers has anxiety and agoraphobia, but he is slowly getting better and making progress, like you. That's all anyone can ask for. We're only human. My little bro couldn't face going to school so did home-schooling, but over the years he has gradually learned to do things like catching buses, for which we are very proud of him.

My little bro also has severe scoliosis (from sitting in front of a computer for his whole life) so looks a bit like the hunchback and he's only 20 years old.

I understand how you feel about wanting some drugs because it is just so overwhelming to try and cope with it all on your own. However, I feel that your psychiatrist must be a sincere and good one, to restrain himself from proscribing drugs to you. The mental health drugs ARE very addictive, and they have not helped my Dad nor my sister to overcome their mental issues. (Drugs are the path they took... Dad did not get any other therapy except drugs... and he should have.) In Dad's case, who took Prozac for 10 years, they actually made him more aggressive, and that side effect is now scientifically verified (I learned it in my nursing studies).

I was never diagnosed, but my Mum says I show traits of BPD, and I've also had anxiety and depression for 7 years, and probably PTSD, too (always been hypervigilant from living with my Dad for so long).

In Australia the funding for psychotherapy is very limited, hence why my Mum went into the profession, to help her family. This is also why I became a homoeopath and nutritionist, and why I'm now studying nursing. Drugs just do not cure in cases like ours. There's a very complex set of factors at play, and I feel that maybe I can help you with some of those.

I learned in my nursing studies that mind-altering drugs create a "reward pathway" in the brain that causes addictive behaviours to continue. Because of epilepsy, I was on anticonvulsants from infancy to age 16. After I went off my drugs at age 16 (no more fits and just SICK of taking drugs.. my liver was pretty toxic, too), I've had problems with anxiety and depression ever since. I believe that is a combination of factors, including sensitive brain chemistry and the addiction pathways that my brain learned to follow since infancy.


What I found really helpful was the FAILSAFE diet. Most people know that some foods can affect the behaviour of children, but the same foods can continue to affect the brains of adults! It is known as "food intolerance". The Elimination Diet can help you identify which foods you react to, and the FAILSAFE website can help you get resources to change your diet to one that will support and calm down your brain chemistry: http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info.

Just for a taste of the info: Amines (commonly found in tomatoes, cheese, wine, grapes, saltanas, nuts, and old meat) cause aggression and also anxiety. Salicylates (in many fruits, especially tomatoes, and others) cause that racy feeling where your thoughts can't slow down, and also contribute to anxiety. Glutamates and artificial additives can have similar mind-altering effects (giving insomnia and racing thoughts, aggression and hyperactivity).

This diet could be the very thing to set you on the path to recovery (it was for me) or it might be one factor in the big plan to solve your problems. If you need any help or clarification on the diet, please feel free to email me.

I think you should forgive yourself for any perceived lacks that you have. As you said, you've already made a great deal of progress by yourself and that is worth congratulations. It is a hard slog. You're doing a great job.

Best wishes on your journey. Feel free to contact me by email if you would like some like-minded support or help. I'll do what I can, although of course I am only human. Your experiences and suffering gives you compassion, and that is a very valuable and rare commodity, these days. ?