Jon Said:

i need help with potty training?

We Answered:

Potty training is a process that every child is ready for at an age that is unique to him. You can talk to every parent you know with a potty trained child and their story and advice will be different. There is no "shoulds" when it comes to potty training as in "Your son should be potty trained by now." or "Your son should understand what to do." Each child is an individual and your son will be potty trained when the time is right for him. I am mom to 4 and I have provided child care in my home for 22 years. I have potty trained a lot of children. In my own personal experience, the youngest child who was potty trained was 22 months, the oldest was over 4 and getting alarmingly close to 5 (she happened to be my own youngest daughter). One of the biggest things I can suggest is that you stop asking your son if he has to go potty or if he wants to go potty. Whenever you approach your son in this matter, it opens the matter up for debate. Instead of saying, "Do you want to go potty?" you say, "It's time to try to use the potty now." The practice of using rewards is not uncommon, but the long range benefit is questionable. Using the toilet is an expected skill that is a normal part of our world. In many respects it is similar to using a fork and spoon at meal times or learning how to wash their own hair during their shower. These things are not rewarded nor are they taught by asking the child do they want to do them. In many respects it works much better to view potty training as just one of the many things a parent teaches their child in the time frame between birth and 18 years. In my own personal preference, I don't recommend the use of Pull-ups. They are little more than pricey diapers. If you are serious about potty training I encourage you to use real underwear. You can let your son pick his favorites at the store if you want, but it's my experience that most kids are not overly motivated by wearing a favorite character. Some are, so if that is a motivator for your son go ahead and use it. I much prefer to have my potty trainers wear the old standby plain white cotton training pants with the extra layers in the crotch area. It helps absorb any accidents and less goes on the floor. Potty training takes patience, consistency, encouragement, and practice. I suggest, if your son has all the physical signs he is ready for potty training, that you approach it with a very matter-of-fact attitude. You can say things like, "Today we are going to wear underwear and try to go potty in the toilet." or "You have been wearing diapers since you were a baby, now that you are older, it's time to wear underwear and practice putting pee and poop in the potty." Take off his diaper, have him sit on the potty for a few minutes encouraging him to pee or poop. After a few minutes take him off and simply say, "Thanks for trying, we'll try again later." I strongly disagree with making a child sit on the toilet until something happens. This can take quite some time and the attention spans of most toddlers will not find this practice enjoyable at all. If you son has an accident in his underwear (and he will), address that simply as well with something like, "Oops, I see you made some pee in your underwear. Pee needs to go in the potty. Let's get cleaned up and we'll try later to put some pee in the potty." No need to get angry or frustrated or offer a punishment. Always remember, this is a process. The concept of understanding the sensation of feeling the need to pee or poop before it actually happens can take some time to develop. Some kids get the connection quickly while others are baffled beyond belief as to what it means to "tell me before you have to use the toilet". I would encourage you to not get discouraged with your almost 4 year old son. Lots of people will try to make you feel less than adequate as a parent, but ignore them as best you can. Your son is an individual that will potty train when it is the right time for him. When my youngest daughter resisted potty training every step of the way I was in conversation with her doctor on several occassions. She gave me good words of advice and said not to worry or push it. She said she never saw a healthy child go to kindergarten in diapers. I was sure my daughter would be the first. One day, in an unusual fit of exasperation, I asked my nearly 4 1/2 year old daughter when she was going to go potty in the toilet. She gave it some thought and said, "When I am 5 I will go potty on the toilet." I thought that at least she had a plan, so we went completely non-issue with her. I kept underwear, Pull-ups, and diapers on a shelf in her room. Every day she chose what she wanted to wear. Usually it was a diaper, sometimes the pull-ups, rarely the underwear. About a month before her birthday, she came out of her room wearing her underwear with her packages of diapers and pull-ups in her arms. She told me that today she was going potty in the potty and these were for "the babies" (what she called all the daycare children). She was day and night potty trained that day with only a few unavoidable accidents. It was the most bizzare case of potty training I'd ever been a part of, but it was totally in keeping with her personality. She has never liked change and is very slow to warm up to anything new. But, when she's comfortable, she makes changes swiftly and completely. You know your son best. I suggest you skip the rewards for now and approach the potty training matter of fact. Don't give him an option to use the potty unless you are willing for him to say no. If your son is keeping his pull-up dry at daycare, ditch the pull-ups and go to underwear. This is a process and your son will get the hang of it when he's ready.

Duane Said:

3 yr old needs speech and occupational therapy..where to begin?

We Answered:

The Early Intervention program should be in the process to transition your son to the Special Education Program for Preschoolers in your local school district. By federal law, ALL public schools must provide free and appropriate education and services at age 3. This includes special ed services as well as "related services" which are Speech, Occupation Therapy, etc.

Systems differ as to how this transition occurs. Some school systems will accept all evaluations from the early Intervention Program, others will want to do their own testing to determine if a child meets the criteria to receive special services under one of the categories defined in the federal and stateregulationss.

Call the Early Interventionn Coordinatorr ASAP to start the the transition to the preschool special education program in the public school now. She should guide you through the whole process, provide you with a timeline and procedures, and attend meetings with school personnel.

Kristen Said:

Should I have my son evaluated and put in speech therapy?

We Answered:

Mommy, you are doing the right thing! Early intervention in detecting any form of delay is the key to helping your child towards their best future. I fully believe and advocate for mom's intuition - you know your child best and want to be able to love them above anything else going on. Your details here are perfect for sharing with a professional who can help you with the right referrals.

Sidney Said:

speech therapy for a lisp?

We Answered:

It depends on what you mean by a lisp. Going to see an SLP could help you figure out how you are making your errors and what sounds they affect.

One great resource is the Iowa phonetics site. You can check it out to find out where your tongue should be to make lots of different sounds. Try practicing in front of a mirror.
Here is the website:http://www.uiowa.edu/~acadtech/phonetics…
Click on "American English" and then click one of the categories at the top (since you mentioned a lisp, you might want to click on the "fricatives" category) and then click on the particular sound that you want to check out (such as /s/, or "th"). Make sure the sound is on on your computer and click play or "step by step" description.
There you can see that for /s/ your tongue stays in your mouth behind your teeth (with the sides up) while for "th" your tongue comes out between your teeth, etc.

If you want to find an SLP to work with you, I would suggest asking a teacher at your school about it or visiting the American Speech Language Hearing Association (ASHA) website's "find a professional" section. Here is the link:
http://asha.org/proserv/