Adam Said:

Doctors/Surgeons: Does this plastic surgery sound dangerous?

We Answered:

I know nothing about health or surgery, but im sure its not about where its done, its about the hospital, the team, and most importantly the doctor. Usually they get recommended by word of mouth, a bad surgery can be a life long nightmare, so even so, just do it if you think its absolutely necessary.

This is a job for a plastic surgeon if he has done it many many times before, a craniofacial surgeon seems to be involved to restore functionality and repair, not for enhancing looks.

Thelma Said:

I'm probably the ugliest person out there! Need help with my appearance!?

We Answered:

there is only one thing wrong with your appearance - your confidence! trust me, no one looking at you will notice even a small percentage of the things you just listed about yourself. what they will see is someone who is miserable, and that is something you can change really easily.

a friend of mine growing up was just gorgeous, looked like a little doll. then she got hit by a car and lost one eye and has a mis-shaped skull as a result. she, her family and friends are all just so happy she is alive, no-one thinks she is any less beautiful now at all, in fact she is even more precious so more beautiful to us than ever. her strength and courage to recover through that is what shines through and men just adore her. which proves that beauty comes from within.

but you are 14 and self-obsessed and looking in the mirror and won't believe any of this so here are a few tips to help you out. sigh.

chubby face - chew a lot. sugar-free gum or things like beef jerky etc. chewing a lot tones up your jawline and makes it more defined. as for your nose, use a little light concealer (a shade lighter than your skin tone) down the centre or bridge of your nose. it will give it more definition (just blend it in so you don't just have a stripe). if you have make up on for an occasion etc, you can use a little light shimmer for this too.

body shape - walk. there's no quick fix, you just need to excercise to tone up. walking is great as you can do other things like chat to a friend or plan your week etc while you do it and it is not too strenuous. it will also make you feel good about yourself and tone up your calves. when you sit in front of the tv next, use a couple of hand weights and just play with them. lift them, rotate them whatever, it will all work to tone up your arms. you can even just use things you have lying around the house.

skin - drink lots of water. focus on having a drink first thing in the morning and try and have at least a glass every hour. just plain water. try not to touch your face with your hands so the oil from your hands doesn't block your pores. wash your face well twice a day, morning and night. use a gentle toner designed for acne prone skin. and replace junk food with fresh vegies and fruit.

if you do evena couple of these things you will start to feel better and it will translate to how you see yourself. who says your nose is too big? compared to what? i'll bet that plenty of people would think you look just fine exactly as you are, so only make any lifestyle changes if it will make you feel better about yourself, not so you will look like what you think other people will like.

David Said:

Trans people and non trans people: Can you accurately imagine what it would be like to have the other genitals?

We Answered:

Not to offend anyone, but I don't think non-transsexual people can really understand. They haven't experienced it and can't even imagine what it is like for us.

For the record my experience was quite similar to what you quoted. From the moment I woke up after surgery everything felt right. The anatomy that had represented the incongruity between my brain and body was gone. The incongruity replaced by congruence. In other words: The dysphoria was gone. I feel, dare I say, normal.

I wish I could explain it better, but I believe only people who have been through it understand. Interestingly, this actually causes a separation between me and some pre-op folks. Dysphoria is all they have known and they have difficulty comprehending that there is something beyond that. I wish I could say everyone could find the peace I have, but due to a number of factors many won't.

Some get caught in a vicious cycle of dysphoria

Some fall into despair because of a lack of resources

Some have unrealistic expectations and fall into depression when SRS doesn't cure everything. (SRS only fixes ONE thing)

Some people are haunted by PTSD from abuse dumped on them over a lifetime.


Despite that I think the vast majority can transition successfully. We are living at an important moment in history. We are starting to undo decades of stereotyping and are educating people about the truth of transsexuality. At some point in the near future we will reach a tipping point and transsexuality will be acknowledged as another example of natural diversity. On the surface this sounds contrary to what I said above, but it's not. People don't have to intimately understand the concept in order to embrace it. The more the public sees us and the more people who know someone who's transitioned lessens the hold those old stereotypes have on the publics conscience. A friend of mine calls the process "Moving a mountain one spoonful at a time". Remember that every time you answer a question here at Y!A. We are making a difference, we are helping to create a better future through our advocacy.

Sorry for rambling.